Can I Care for a Child I’m Not Related to in Virginia?

Family is not always defined by a family tree

You may be a godparent, neighbor, coach, family friend, or another adult who has been part of a child’s life for years. If that child cannot safely stay with their parents, you may wonder whether your relationship is enough for you to be considered. In Virginia, it can be. State kinship guidance recognizes relatives and trusted adults who have an established relationship with the child. Child welfare professionals sometimes call this “fictive kin.” You do not need to use that phrase to know what the relationship means to the child.

The existing relationship is the starting point

Think about what your connection looks like in real life. How long have you known the child? Have you cared for them before? Do they know your home and family? Are you part of birthdays, school events, holidays or everyday life? Those details help show why staying with you may preserve familiarity and belonging at a time when much else is changing.

You will still be assessed

Knowing and loving the child does not remove the need for safety checks and assessment. If foster care is involved, the appropriate approval process applies. The agency needs to understand your household, background, home and ability to meet the child’s needs. Do not be offended by the checks. They are part of making sure the proposed placement is safe and sustainable.

Be honest about the parents

Family friends can face a particular pressure: loyalty to the child’s parents. You may have known the parent longer than the child. You may feel caught between protecting the child and preserving a friendship. If DSS or the court sets boundaries around contact, you must be able to follow them. Talk about this before placement. Strong relationships can help a child, but unclear boundaries can make an already difficult situation harder.

Support can make the difference

A family friend who steps forward usually has not spent months planning to become a foster parent. Extra Special Parents can support prospective and approved foster parents through preparation, resource family casework and ongoing guidance. That gives you somewhere to take the practical questions while the child’s DSS worker continues to manage the child welfare case.

Where Extra Special Parents FIT

If a child you know needs family care, do not rule yourself out because you are not related by blood. Tell the child’s worker about your relationship and ask whether you can be considered as a kinship caregiver or kinship foster parent.